Oh, my dears. Here we are again: so close to the weekend and yet so far. Sometimes I don’t know if I can bear the wait, even if it’s only a day. Because you know what I love about the weekend? Not getting dressed.
“But, Daniela: What are you talking about? Is this not a fashion blog?” An astute observation! Let me explain.
I love clothes, but do not necessarily always love getting dressed. Why? Because as I’ve mentioned time and time again, I never learn anything and often buy pants that are too tight. When trying them on in the store, I’ll check my reflection in the mirror and think to myself, “HOT DAMN these are sexy, and obviously the fact they’ve been comfortable for the past five minutes is a clear indication they’ll continue to be so after ten hours.” Then comes the day I actually wear them, and ten hours in I find myself googling if the pins and needles sensation in my legs is normal. It usually is not.
The first thing I do when I get home from work is take off my pants. So once Friday rolls around, those suckers stay off until Monday morning. Why the preoccupation with pantlessness? Why not the preoccupation? Consider all the advantages: there’s an unlimited range of motion, there’s the absence of estimating how far you can bend over before a seam rips, there’s ventilation—so much ventilation. It’s freedom and bliss at its finest. Pantless, I feel I can conquer the world. Which is why the shirt dress is a modern day miracle. It’s really just a very long shirt that some saint christened a dress so that we could walk around publicly in our underpants without scorn.
Saint Sin Pantalones. My patron saint.
Don't mind me while I stand around in these pools of toxic sludge.
Because now I have all the superpowers. I'm like a poor person Spiderman. Bitten by a radioactive spider? No. Droplets of mysterious sidewalk water landed on my legs while I was walking around on my fifteen minute break, and now I can do weird shit.
Captain Underpants my ass (ahaha). Can he do this?
But he probably doesn't have shoes like these.
And he probably can't do the funky chicken either. SO FUCK THAT GUY. Spiderman, too, with his corny jokes.
No one. say. anything.
My superpower will be promoting believe in your selfness.
And this will be my obnoxious superhero motto so that people believe in themselves. Kinda like how Captain Planet has one, except instead of flying in all blue and majestic and saying shit about powers combining and whatever, I'll scoot around and shriek at people like a banshee to get to it. Not because I want to sound like a banshee, but because my voice is shrill.
HAHA, just kidding, I don't do anything on time. Captain Procrastinator. The shrill part is true, though.
And this is the point where I got tired of making GIFs.
So here's a picture of me standing.
And here's another one.
And here's another one. And now I don't have anything else to say.
Gap shirt dress, Uniqlo tie and socks, Steve Madden shoes, Forever 21 jacket and earrings.
And that's about it. So remember, guys:
We can all be superheroes.