Oh, Monday. It’s another start of the work week, and the struggle is real. The office coffee tastes like dirty sock water, and is probably contaminated with slime because no one knows how to clean the filters in the machine; someone decided to be that person and come in on Saturday, filling your inbox with delightfully panicked emails to handle first thing at 9am; you realize it’s June 1st and that month-long task assigned to you on May 1st—the one where you were all like, “Nah I can do this later, it’s going to be super easy,” the one you ended up forgetting about because it was so, “super easy”—is now due and it’s uh-oh time; and generally everything thrown at you by the universe thus far has succeed in making you feel like crap. It’s my responsibility, however, to tell all of you that we have to rally.
“Daniela, you don’t understand: I’m so tired, I just can’t.” I do understand, my darlings! I think we all know by now how thoroughly I enjoy to pass the time watching dust specks float around, so believe me, I get it: being awake is hard. You can trust me completely when I say I feel your pain about facing the reality of wearing pants for the next five days. If it were up to me, I’d tell you to stay home, or at least wear your pajamas to work. Unfortunately, some genius didn’t get the memo that I should be in charge, so I can’t officially give you the green light to do that.
So what is there to do when the idea of getting dressed makes you go limp? Put a jumpsuit on it! Because what the haters don’t know is that a jumpsuit is technically a onesie, and a onesie is technically adult getup for relaxing or sleeping. It’s no muss, no fuss, just slip on and go. Dress it up, dress it down, it really doesn’t matter—in the end you still get to be in your loungewear. You can get your George Costanza on all day, everyday, completely incognito! Isn’t that wonderful?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a nap under my desk to take.
Zara jumpsuit and bomber, Uniqlo tank and belt. Here I am sitting, because being in a chair all day and not having to move around very much if I don’t want to is exhausting.
Here I am in my happy place, a fantasy in which I have to care about nothing.
And here I am remembering that I don’t live in the Matrix. Or maybe …
Yo, Neo! That you? Does Morpheus still have that blue pill you didn’t take? HOW MUCH DOES HE WANT FOR IT?
The closest thing you’ll get to a fashion shot out of me, so I hope you can all appreciate this.
And that's about it. So remember, guys:
Ahaha oh my God I’m so tired.