On the mornings, afternoons, and evenings I don’t feel like working—which is usually all of them—I often gaze out the window that is Instagram to see what the liberated people of the world are up to.
I follow a lot of fashion accounts that alert me to trends, dos, and don’ts for the current season. And what this usually translates to is being tsk-tsked about something that is wrong with my wardrobe; a giant digital finger being wagged at me through my phone screen.
But I hate authority! If you tell me to do something, I will engage in the opposite just to spite you! So please, for future reference, keep me safe and tell me to play in traffic.
Fashion authority, however, aggravates a particular strain of contradiction within me, usually because the death of hot trends are followed with an obituary chiding, “Oh LAWD, I can’t believe you actually wore that. HA! Idiot.” Take for example the recent craze over culottes. You couldn’t read a fashion editorial without some mention of them. It was as if someone had discovered an Amazon-sized warehouse full of gauchos they forgot to sell, and freaked out like, “Fuck! What to do with all these gauchos? Ah yes, call them something French and insist they’re completely different.”
I couldn’t wear culottes because they fit me like normal pants, so I was forced to sit that trend out. LIKE AN ASSHOLE. But now? Now I keep reading about a fancy pajama trend? Mesh? Something called a paper bag waist? A few years ago wearing pajamas out of the house got you written up as a hot mess train wreck, like, immediately. And mesh was reserved for activities outside my scope of athleticism. And a paper bag waist? Man, last I checked that was called just playing it cool when you had to tie a belt around your pants and the waist got all bunchy and weird, because they were thrift store pants four sizes too big, but they had a neat print on them that made you go, “Oh but maybe.”
Trends are annoying because they swallow themselves and get thrown back up again, and then re-swallowed. Gross. So here’s a novel idea: maybe just wear what you want to wear, regardless of what is in or out, what is a faux pas and what is not. If that’s pajamas, great. If that’s mesh, great. If that’s pants that are too big for you, great. And then carry that style for as long as you please. Adorn yourself in things that make you feel good and happy, because that looks a billion times better on than anything spewed out of a glossy mag.