Today is Go Texan Day, but my home state is on some bullshit right now, so I'm a little torn about celebrating.

Ugh, Texas, why you act so bad when you be so good? WHY? I mean, have any of y'all ever been to a Rodeo? And before you say that's a super hick activity, a) let me inform you of how fucking judgy you are, and b) don't knock anything until you've tried it; there's an event dedicated solely to little children riding sheep and hanging on for dear life, so don't try to tell me it's not a good time. Man, and they have FRIED OREOS there. I swear, if you say "ew gross" . . . CHILD. I am NOT in the mood to repeat what I just lectured. Fried Oreos are heaven in your mouth, and I actually feel sorry for you if you've never experienced one.

Texas has real nice people, too, y'all. I mean, we have some backwards ass people who happen to be extremely loudmouthed—for sure—but the rest of us are real nice. Also, we say "y'all" unironically!

And that weather? Oh man, so temperate, so warm! Except in May, June, July, August, September, October, and November, when you'll die either by heat, hurricane, or both.

LET'S NOT FORGET TO MENTION IT'S THE HOME OF CHUCK NORRIS! THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND! INSPIRER OF SO MANY JOKES, INFLUENCER OF SO MANY ROUNDHOUSE KICKS GONE AWRY, A G-DAMN DREAMBOA—

What's that? He voted for Trump?

HHHHHNNNNNGGGGGHHHHH.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Zara dress, boots, and earrings; American Apparel vest and skirt; J. Crew belt; Vintage bandana